Untitled (How Does It Feel)
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Untitled (How Does It Feel)

Photo: Tiernae Salley

Photo: Tiernae Salley

Last Friday was a weird day. After waking up to news of yet another violent tragedy for the third time in as many days, I was terminated. No, not in the futuristic cyborg assassination sense. As in my position was eliminated. I was fired.

I packed up my desk in a daze. I called my mom. I cried. Like any relationship, even if it’s one that’s not working anymore, leaving hurts. Especially when it’s not by choice.

Once home, I tried not to panic. I asked for advice from the Being Boss Facebook group. I watched this video of Oprah “tha Gawd” Winfrey at least 10 times. I made lists of things to do/try/learn. I wrote down the scraps and fragments of thoughts that would eventually become this post.

In a way, getting terminated was a relief. I’d been feeling trapped by the amount of time I was required to spend at the office, frustrated by the 9-5 timeframe that didn’t take into account when I’m most productive. I’d been annoyed that I wasn’t able to do things to further my personal and professional skills because they occurred during work hours. I felt extremely guilty about not being as happy and fulfilled as I thought I should be doing what was, for all intents and purposes, my dream job. So many people would love this job, I thought. Who am I to be so unappreciative? How greedy must I be?

The thing is, I do appreciate the time I spent at the magazine. I learned a lot about writing, design, and creative direction from my super talented coworkers. I made some awesome contacts with photographers, fellow stylists, and business owners that I hope to work with again someday. I learned that I’m happiest and most fulfilled when I have complete autonomy over my time and energy, which ultimately translates to working for myself.

Something inside me–the thing that that led me to sell calligraphy to my friends in elementary school, to start a blog and accompanying magazine on a whim, to create a podcast when I had no idea how to create a podcast–has been planting the seeds of entrepreneurship for as long as I can remember. I’d been trying to hold out for security’s sake, but the universe clearly grew tired of my procrastination.

So yeah, this little birdie got kicked out of the nest. But I’m gonna learn to fly.

  • Katie

    July 11, 2016 at 11:13 am

    Wow Tamia – I can’t help but feel like I want to say GO GIRL. Sorry to hear about your position being eliminated, but it is clear that you are turning those lemons into some SERIOUS lemonade. Looking forward to seeing what you will do.

    • tamia

      July 11, 2016 at 12:45 pm

      Thanks, Katie–me too!

  • Marci

    July 11, 2016 at 11:33 am

    Good luck, sometimes we need a little kick to get on our intented path for success and fulfillment! Don’t let any fear hold you back! Fly, soar and sing!

    • tamia

      July 11, 2016 at 12:45 pm

      Thanks, Marci!

  • Ursula

    July 11, 2016 at 5:01 pm

    Crawling out of the woodwork in Cádiz, Spain to say, ‘Learn to fly? Girl you are already a qualified pilot!’. You have all the talents needed to do whatever your pretty heart desires. So yes (I watched the video), go to your quiet place and decide which path you are going to go down first. It might lead somewhere you’re not sure you want to stay, in which case you will choose a new path from that spot and go seeking another adventure. Sometimes the universe pushes you where it knows you need to be. Have fun on your voyage of discovery!

    • tamia

      July 12, 2016 at 2:32 pm

      Thank you, Ursula! You’re so right about the universe pushing you where it knows you need to be. It’s scary but exciting!

  • Lisa R Adkinson

    July 11, 2016 at 5:19 pm

    Hi Tamia, I believe this may be the best thing that ever happened to you! Good luck!

    • tamia

      July 12, 2016 at 2:31 pm

      I think you may be right, Lisa! Thanks!

  • Laura Wize

    July 11, 2016 at 5:24 pm

    Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end. You are beautiful, smart, and wonderfully talented. The best thing you can do is what you are doing right now and no matter what don’t go into panic mode this is the best time to push forward and lean into being a boss! Good luck Tamia!

    • tamia

      July 12, 2016 at 2:33 pm

      Thanks, Laura! Working on it, I promise.

  • Natalie Folchi

    July 13, 2016 at 11:19 am

    Tamia, I’m so sorry to hear you lost your job. I’ve been there. Not too long ago, in fact. And it sucks. But, it really is a blessing in disguise. If you feel any sense of relief, that’s when you know it wasn’t right for you. You are meant to do greater things, and you already are!
    Best of luck, girl (not that you’ll need it).

    • tamia

      July 13, 2016 at 10:04 pm

      Thank you, Natalie! I know you understand 🙂

  • Sureyya

    July 13, 2016 at 9:42 pm

    Whatever you do, please keep up with blogging!

    • tamia

      July 13, 2016 at 10:03 pm

      I will! I actually have time to post now!