Feel free to f*ck up
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Feel free to f*ck up

I planned on doing a video blog last year. The problem was, I was scared of looking silly on camera (inevitable, trust me) and hated that I didn’t have the ability to create a television-ready broadcast complete with studio lighting and zippy Flash intro. I was daunted by the fact that I had no clue how to get professional results using an amateur video editing program.

Really, how ridiculous is that? But because I was putting all this pressure on myself to create something perfect the first time around (I do this often, and it is often the source of my frustration), I was so afraid to tackle the project that it never got done.

Do you know how good you get or how much you learn from doing nothing? Mmm-hmm, you guessed it. Zero equals zero. Even I know that, and I got C’s in math. Except in geometry, which is the biz. Anyway.

I had to give myself permission to mess up. Not only did I give myself permission to mess up (because why do things halfway?), I made it mandatory.

I said to myself,

Self. You must make a big honkin’ mess of this whole thing. When you’re finished, it should be blatantly obvious to anyone who watches that you are a goofball and a complete amateur. The results should be so horrifically bad that you never want to show anyone for fear of public shaming by a mob of angry villagers wielding torches.

And then you’ll post it for all to see.

When I changed my mindset, screwing up became my goal. And guess how much I learned? A lot more than I did waiting to magically achieve newscaster-esque perfection on the first go-round using a program I’ve only used a few times.

Swap haul video

Note to self: face powder is a must. Sigh.

So, I’m passing on the assignment. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and find something to really f*ck up. Create a really ugly website using tables(!); take blurry, grainy pictures of the weeds in your garden; make an ice cream and fried chicken casserole; wear white patent leather sandals with fishnets. DO IT. Own it. F*ck-ups lead to freedom.

Look, everybody messes up. Sometimes you have to just do it. It’s not a mistake if you learn from it, and if you learn something, you’re already moving forward.

You have my permission, so…what will you f*ck up?

  • Theresa

    July 28, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    Thank you for this post. I’ve been avoiding a huge assignment all week. I’m going to read this before I go home. If I go into it with this mindset, I’ll at least be brave enough to start. And that’s huge for me.

    • tamia

      July 28, 2010 at 2:18 pm

      Getting started is absolutely the hardest part–and it’s 99% mental. Good luck on your assignment!

  • manecoarse

    July 28, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    You’re wearing a great belt.

    • tamia

      July 28, 2010 at 4:30 pm

      Thanks! Found it at H&M loooong ago.

  • Fajr | Stylish Thought

    July 28, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    Love the vlog! You have a great speaking voice! Tell Kitty to stop trying to steal your airtime!

    • tamia

      July 28, 2010 at 4:32 pm

      He was all up in my space, huh?
      *Cartman voice* “No, kitty! This is mah vlog!”

  • Fajr | Stylish Thought

    July 28, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    Oh and you my dear are no Fuck up! 🙂

  • Kasmria

    July 28, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    LOL! I brought that hat! I bought it at a vintage shop. It always fell off my head…pinning it to your hair is a good idea. It looks adorable on you.

    • tamia

      July 28, 2010 at 4:29 pm

      I should’ve known that was one of your crazy finds! I’m really excited about wearing it when the weather cools off. Like, unreasonably excited.

  • Sanchez

    July 28, 2010 at 7:34 pm

    You are too cute at the end, after your logo again….lol…

    Love this blog…it’s my favorite of yours so far. Not just because your video was pretty cool, but I liked what you had to say. Especially what you had to say to yourself…heh. I think more people need to not only give themselves permission to screw up more often, but to make it a goal.

    I hope you don’t mind, I liked it so much I shared the link on my facebook 🙂

    • tamia

      July 30, 2010 at 9:32 am

      Of course I don’t mind! Thanks!

  • Paige

    July 29, 2010 at 11:53 am

    I was at that swap, it was great! Hella hot though.

  • ...ALLmEYEne...

    July 29, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    Wow…that’s exactly how I feel about creating vlogs about anything. I make videos all the time, but I feel like I don’t have “studio” quality vids. But when I read your post and thought about it…people are concerned about the content. Everything will essentially fall into place. So I think I’m motivated to go home and actually upload one of my 20+ videos.

    • tamia

      July 30, 2010 at 9:33 am

      Do it! You’re absolutely right–people care more about what you say/do.

  • Kyla

    July 29, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    dude, you’re awesome.

  • Jocelyn

    August 1, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    I adored this post!! I’ve been fearful of doing a vlog of my own because of the same reasons. You did a fabulous job and it looks like you picked up some dope items from that swap. Thanks again for posting!

  • Milan

    August 2, 2010 at 8:45 am

    Girl, there were nothing wrong with that video! Lol. Great finds. I’m going to look up clothing swaps cuz I know they have got to have some good ones here in NY.

  • PghFlowers

    January 21, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    Hello, caught a few photos of u on luckymag.com ‘HeadToToe’. First impression, “Woah! this chick is way to stuffie for me. Yet I checked ur blog out any who (black girl w/natural hair,gatta atleast check her out)….Totally won over by your post; you write more genuine than ur photos show, I appriecate your personality! If it suits, have more fun during your shoots. Chic Flare Is Cleaver, but Honest Adorability Wins Hearts!

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